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drunken observations

2001-04-12 - 11:14 p.m.

last night we went out fo D's birthday.He was 19 yesterday and got royally pissed.And rightly so.He deserved it.The boy made him a fantastic present by making his name in lights with loveheart sweets stuck all over it.Levi and I got him a good bottle of wine...if there's one thing my dads taught me,it's how to pick good wine...i hope!

We met mnem.He's a nice guy.

D has lots of friends...loads of them...we were in the polo lounge and just about everyone came over to say happy birthday while he sat cross legged in the middle of the table drinking blue cocktails from a large,film star like cocktail glass..all he needed was a long cigarette holder and he was something straight out of a glamourous film set.

He told us all how much he loved us,over and over...it was great.He was so drunk.But considering he'd been drinking since 1 pm..he wasn't doing too badly at all.

His friend told me i had fantastic hair.One of the trannies said she'd love to have an ass like mine.

I was wearing Levi's trousers...I love those trousers..i told her that..she told me to wear them...she's great.

It was weird to look in the mirror and see her trousers on my legs...i wanted to reach out and touch the mirror...thinking that she'd be there.My mum doesn't know i wore them.My mum doesn't know anything about last night because she hasn't said one word to me all day...great isn't it?

Levi and i saw the girl who works behind the bar in there again..shes been there every time we've been in..we both noticed her the first time.It's weird but kinda cool that we both like her...she wears one ring on her wedding finger..silver...she's probably taken then...but we still like to dream. I ordered our drinks from her last night while Levi stood beside me and watched.

She leaned over the bar as i ordered..she looked straight into my eyes (ok so she does it with everyone..but hey!)We watched as she made up the cocktails..packed ice into the glasses..mixed the alcohol and fruit juice..poured them slowly...got slightly annoyed with something to do with the till..laughed with one of the barmen...added a slice of kiwi to one and a cocktail stick with a slice of orange and a cherry to the other....I handed overthe money..she gave me the change,her fingers brushing against mine...

Levi asked what it was like to be served my her...she dared me to ask her for a quick fuck (a DRINK by the way..before you think we were up to any kinky business!)..i couldn't...i told her to..she said she would but,you know,never got round to it.

And Levi..if you're reading this...which i know you are then you know you have nothing to worry about...you know she has nothing on you..besides you like her too,admit it.

We got progressivley more drunk as the night went on...me and levi sitting on the same chair..snuggled into each other..watching the boy be drunk...J talking to this person then that person...the boy and mnem talking away...the place buzzing with people in for half price cocktails.

It was a good night.We even disapperaed the to the toilets for a while..to come back to be greeted by the boy saying " someone's having sex"....Levi answered .."oh..who?"

So why did i sill have to run down the stairs crying at one point?...i promised myself i wouldn't cry yesterday.Maybe it was the drink.Maybe it was thinking about what my dad had said...about us splitting up for 6 months and the thought of losing her for that long.Maybe i just had an overwhelming pang of guilt for even being there.They didn't know i was going there...they know about me and i still can't even tell them where i'm going.I just put my head on Levi's shoulder and the tears came and there was nothing i could do about it.

I ran down the stairs...she followed me...i passed so many people...looking at me with vaguely concerned faces...I got to the toilets and cried for a while.

She was great as she always is.I really don't know how she puts up with me crying all the time.I really don't.

We left after that...walking home...i love walking home with her.It's kinda one of the things that got us together in the first place.

So anyway....sorry about this huge entry..last night was great...Levi is fantastic...Happy birthday D,hello to the boy and mnem...thanks to everyone who's been giving us support and signing guestbooks and things...it means more than you'll ever know.

My mum just handed me tea,asked if i wanted a biscuit...hey more than 5 words in a day...it can't be all that bad eh?

Hey,boy..is that offer of a place to stay still open?

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