After 8 years of thinking that i should go i've finally stared taekwondo! It's good fun, it's useful, it gives a great workout and it will help me to combat the unruliness of my waistline of late. That's the plan anyway, i'm signed up for at least 3 months so i'll just need to just drag my ass up there in the ever increasing cold and rain at least twice a week to make it worthwhile. I'm hoping that i'll be at least a bit good at it. 2 classes down, only the rest of forever to go go get there! I haven't bumped into Levi there yet but am sure to soon as it's her club and the only one i can get to. It's also the club that the instructor of my self defence class at work goes to- which is my i'm going. so far there haven't been many people there but i'm hoping not to feel all self conscious if levi is there. i keep being told how good she is- which i already know but still, i don't want to hold my ungainliness up against her expertise and feel like an idiot.. it'll be fine after the first time or so though i'm sure! I've impressed myself a bit by being more flexible and a bit more fit than i thought i was. I did not feel like fainting this week for instance and felt really really good after class which all makes me feel like this is definitely a good idea.

In other news i'm so fed up of being gay at the moment that it's not real. The only person making any advances is the aforementioned guy at work who is attached to someone who i am friends with so that is never going to work out well especially if i keep drinking the way i did the other night. Nothing hapenned but i was being a bit, or a lot, flirtier than usual and got absolutley hammered. Friend/ girlfriend was there too though and we were chatting lots and things, the drinks were at their house so i was not all that out of hand.I feel a bit two faced though which is not like me at all and must be remedied. I do really like her and think she's great and would not want to come between them in any way. Problem is, i think, that i just like doing things i'm not supposed to or that i'm not expected to do. But he has a girlfriend, who is my friend, who has a mortgage with him (although living in london for a year) and he is an arrogant cocky bastard so i should put paid to that as soon as possible. After the other night he has renewed his campaign with more zeal. I need to do something about it but am kind of enjoying it a bit too much even though i don't actually really fancy him- he's just mischievious which makes me want to collude. It's all wrong. This is not helped by the fact that i know that his girlfriend, my friend, was very tempted to sleep with someone on a weekend away recently and was witnessed by many hanging this guy him in such a way that a lot of people thought that something had indeed happened- and she has continued being in email contact with said guy for quite a while now..oh dear.she talked to me about it a lot because i was there at the time (actually i left her to it because i didn't want to get any more involved in the whole fiasco) It's a tangled web of triangles and all that and I'm better of out of it. absolutely. So that is what i must do. He has just texted to ask if i'm still working late and to say that he'd love to take me away from it. oh dear.that's the most he's ever actually said- he's usually more side-stepping than that. This is not good.i must tell him to stop and then tell myself to stop as well. I haven't been flirting with him at work at all which makes me feel like i really let myself down the other night. Simply have to stay away from drinking when he is around, or him when drinking. A lot of people seem like a good idea after half a bottle of gin i'm sure. This usually means that they are not in fact a good idea.

Must find another object for pseudo-affections. Preferably not attached arrogant man. preferably hot unattached woman.

preferably just about anyone else in fact.

ok, back to work now.