So in just over 3 hours I'm going to have the conversation with E. I feel ill. I feel really awful that when i asked if i could talk to her later her first reaction was to ask if i was ok and if there was anything she could do. She is so lovely. I feel like I'm about to tell someone I've been cheating on them. Of course i never have cheated on anyone..but I imagine that this is what it feels like.

I haven't figured out exactly how to do this yet.. I'm trying to visualise it. So i'll meet her at 6 on this floor at work..where we both work..Then what do i say? Say that we should go for a walk? Maybe that's the best thing..It shouldn't be in the building but i don't want to make it seem like we're going for a drink either because that's not the truth.. I think a walk might be best if the weather stays nice.
Ok so we walk down stairs and she's probably asking me what's going on...so then I just..tell her..

I'm going to stop thinking about it there because obviously the conversation could go any way.. she could react in any way..and there's no point trying to second guess it. I'm fully expecting that she will be upset and angry and have questions that I won't want to answer. All i can do is be as honest as possible...

Stomach churning. music very belated but time to face it nonetheless. And the funny thing is that he has no idea that i'm about to do this. I'm not sure if she'll say anything to him or how he'll react. I could be opening a can of worms. But at least i'm opening it myself. Which is..something..?