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a few people

2001-02-16 - 08:52:12

Tonight.I finished work early tonight so that meant i could go to J's houswarming party.J is one of Levi's closest friends..i first met him a few years ago...through another of her closest friends, D....it's funny i knew both of them but never met her until last year.

Anyway..I've never met any of her other friends before....the thing is J is gay,as is D...they both know about us....and have told other people ...even though they're not s'posed to...but they have..so J's flat mate L (a girl) knows about us aswell..which is a kinda weird situation to walk into when you're not even out to your own closest freinds and family. So, went to the party..saw J and L.Sat talking to D and R (who is also gay)

J decided he was going to come out to friends of his that didn't know yet...so he did...he was great....it takes so much guts to do what he did tonight.

Anyway..next thing i know i walk into the hall and this girl says to me 'you're so beautiful as well' ..and then this other one says 'you're the prettiest lesbian i've ever met'....so I'm like..'yeah right..thanks..ok'....not really exactly sure what's going on...J has a coming out party and suddenly me and m.g are the topic of conversation....suddenly everyone's like ok..hes' out now...so we'll just out you too.

The second girl was so drunk as well and just generally so annoying that I wanted to hit her..she just kept going on and on and on about being gay..and how gay people are so brave...and asking things like 'so,can you tell your own kind?'..but then at the same time claiming to be so comfortable around lesbians...I could tell she'd already been bending R's ear about this for a while...

Then Levi comes through...and also suddenly finds herself outed to her friends...she was quite drunk though too..so i don't know if she felt the full impact of that,but she defnitley knew that it was a strange situation.

We moved into J's room and that stupid girl followed us,asking if she'd offended us and repeating herself over and over again...eventually she went away..I cried..i cried not because she had offended me or anything..just for the fact that all these people know now..i have no idea who they know or who they'll tell,i have no idea who half of them even are....

I also cried possibly because i feel like i have to tell my dad now..it's almost a need ..i just want him to know...but not to know..i want everyone to know...i just don't want to tell them..and then maybe i cried cos that's the first confrontational situation i've ever been in about being gay....the only other people who know are all gay as well. And then maybe it was because my girl had been outed as well...and there was nothing i could do about it.Levi got so mad at that girl for making me cry...it was all mental.

J came in to talk to me..he helped..he's a great guy. R helped so much as well...he tried to talk to that girl..explain to her a few things..but it was useless...he was trying to help get her over ..curiosity and things....i doubt it worked.

The whole party was a farce..everyone suddenly started confessing that they think they might be gay..it was all just too surreal.

I was late home...R walked me home along with Levi...he really helped keep things calm between us...(i was going a bit mad at her cos i was so late home and she wasn't exactly helping things.)

So,tonight i went to a party,met her friends,made a few friends (i'd like to think,at least with R) and came out to a few people.

Interesting.

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