I met a friend tonight.We went for coffee,or hot chocolate anyway.This is a friend that i have lied to.Majorly.

I used to go to school with her and when all the rumours about me being gay started up she was the only one with the guts to call me and let me know what was going on.

She called me and asked me to meet her and we went for coffee and she told me about the rumours...told me who was talking and what was being said...she told me it wouldn't matter if it was true,she wouldn't tell anyone and it wouldn't make any difference to her.This was about 4/5 months ago...I didn't tell her.I said it wasn't true.I also said that it shouldn't make any difference to anyone else even if i was,it was none of their business and they had no right to be talking about me anyway when most of them don't even know me.

She defended me.

She told them it wasn't true.

She stood up for me when no one else would.

And i lied to her.

So i saw her again tonight.I was ready to tell her this time if she asked.I felt so bad about not telling her the last time and keeping it from her since then.She didn't ask.She didn't ask over the hot chocolate.She didn't ask when we went for a walk in the freezing cold.She didn't ask when we ended up at Levi's house (because we were passing and she'd called me earlier so i called her back and she invited us up).She didn't ask before she left.

So she still doesn't know.She might suspect,but she doesn't know.She knows from the rumours that Levi is who i'm s'posed to be going out with..but even then she didn't say.

And that makes me feel worse.Because she believed me,she believed the lie.I wanted her to ask tonight,so i could at least try and fix it..tell her i'm sorry for lying.

But she didn't ask.