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about the exam and it being too long

2002-05-22 - 12:28 a.m.

So here's the boring bit first.My first exam was yesterday.It went ok,i didn't do as well in the bit i thought i'd be ok in but did better in the part i'd hardly studied...figures.

After the exam i went for a drink with friends from my class..its nice this year to be in the position to do that.One of the friends is the girl i came out to a few months back,and she's been great about it,kept it to herself..even when she's had the opportunity to tell other folk.I'm glad i was right about being able to trust her..she even invited me out for her birthday a couple of weeks ago and we had a good night.

Levi came out for a drink as well..which was great of her...but a bit strange cos C.A knows about us (C.A is the girl i was talking about above) but none of the others do...so it was slightly weird...but still good.Thanks honey.

Oz couldn't come out for a drink cos he had another exam on today..He goes home in a month...i'm gonna miss him next year.No one to write stupid notes to in the middle of lectures..or talk me out of going to a pointless class and go for a coffee instead.Oh well.He came over to my place a couple of days before the exam and we revised together which basically consited of him saying big words and me nodding my head and taking notes...i fell slightly uncomfortable talking to him cos he seems so clever..he notices things straight away that it takes me ages to see..theories, angles of discussion...but he makes me think which is good too.Just knowing that we were meeting to revise made me study that bit harder,cos i didn't want to look like a complete idiot when we got together.I don't think i did too badly..although it was unnerving watching him in the exam..he was a few desks infront of me and i could see him out of the corner of my eye..scribbling away..turning 3 pages for every 1 that i turned.Hmmm,well i guess we can't all be filmic geniuses.He has a few weeks to kill before he goes back home..he's gonna use the time to write a play.I'd never even think of doing that.I wish i had drive like that.

There's this one girl in my class who is really nice..and she's been working so hard for this exam.She took a panic attack in the middle of writing her essay and when we got out of the exam she was crying hysterically.It was such a shame cos we all know that she's been living in the library the past few months,she really deserves to get in.

My mum gave me a good luck card before i went to the exam..which was on Westerns by the way.The card was really cool,had Clint Eastwood on the front..very fitting,and she'd obviously taken time over what she wrote inside..made me feel good :) ..i've put the card on my wall so that no matter how bad my course is next year i can always look at it and think 'well at least i'm not studying the western!'

Hmm anyway,now for more intersting thoughts..well for me anyway....(if you're someone who actually knows us and finds..intimate stuff a bit...icky then you'll probably want to just make do with the above)

Right now about 15 minutes away,just across a river and sitting in white bedroom there's a girl.I'll bet she's sitting looking at a book,wishing she was somewhere else,doing something else..anything but studying....

if i had my way this would be the something else:

I'd get up and put my jacket on...grab my keys and walk out of my front door,walk down the street and past the park.Cross the bridge.Up a small hill and round to the back of her house.I'd knock on the window of the room with the light on.It'd take a few minutes but eventually a face would appear at the window,wondering what the hell i was doing there.

She'd walk round to her back door and let me in...out of the cold night air.She'd be whispering loudly at me as we walked back towards her room..asking what i was doing,telling me i shouldn't be there.As soon as the door was closed i'd make her quite with a kiss,running one hand through her hair and across her back as the other caressed her face and neck.After a long lingering kiss i'd move down towards her neck..kissing a trail slowly,to that place just beneath her jaw...soft,smooth, warm and tender...her head to one side,eyes closed,allowing my lips to explore her skin.

My hands would make their way beneath her t-shirt...touching her warm skin...feeling every inch of her back..my (short) nails slowly running across her until a quiet moan escapes from her mouth.

Her standing against the wall i'd remove her shirt as my lips travel from her neck,across her throat and onto her shoulders..kissing,slowly..softly, allowing myself a few teasing bites now and then..my mouth to taste the salt from her skin as i move towards her chest..teasing her nipples with flicks of my tongue and soft butterfly kisses.

Pulling her into me and slowly dropping to my knees i'd unzip her jeans and throw them to one side,allowing her to remove my clothes only so that i can feel my skin next to hers.

On my knees,her still standing, i kiss my way across her navel...down on to her thighs as one hand reaches up to her back, the other pressed tightly in her hand.My tongue and lips explore the softness of her thighs..moving inwards but only hinting at what we both really ache for....pulling her down onto the floor she's lying on top of me,i quickly roll her over so that i can recommence my kissing and teasing.

I straddle her body as i kiss her mouth passionately..her hands running across my back and neck as my leg inches its way down the length of her's and my fingers run slowly from her neck down towards her stomach.

I pull away from her mouth and move to her breasts, her body quivering beneath my touch as my finger slides into her warm wetness...teasing.slowly. circling.curling into her..all the while my kisses moving downwards,until finally my tongue tastes her sweetness as my fingers move inside of her.Kissing,loving..feeling and tasting her pleasure until she begs me to kiss her mouth.Her kisses telling me so much.Love,passion,lust,all contained in that silent communication.

We go on like this for hours.Each orgasm building on the last,each touch taking us deeper into one another,into our own world where nothing can touch us and no-one else matters.Our bodies moving as one,intuitively knowing what the other needs and desires..our souls connecting.

Eventually,exhausted we collapse next to one another,realising that the sun is up,hearing the birds singing outside. Holding each other we sleep for an hour or so before i re-dress and kiss her one last time before leaving her asleep and dreaming.I leave by the backdoor,making as little noise as possible,trying not to wake her or anyone else.

Walking down the hill,across the bridge,past the park and down the street I arrive at home.I quietly creep into my room,remove my coat and clothes,dress in my pyjamas and climb into bed,where i sleep soundly with a smile of quiet ecstacy on my lips and dream about the sleeping girl in the white room who should have been studying.

God it has been too long.

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