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fire

2001-02-25 - 00.36.07

I went up to Levi's tonight.It was so good...kinda a strange night,but so good.For once we had the radio station with all the love songs playing on...even though her parents were in the house.

We lay close together in the bed.We had a fire burning.I don't mean the type of fire that has coal or logs,i mean the type of fire that burns between the two of us when there's so much of a connection that it makes me want to cry.The type of fire that makes her face go all pink because we're so close.The one where i know that i would be happy forever if i just stayed there,her arms around me.Safe and happy and warm and in love .

I had to leave at 11.It's getting harder and harder to leave all the time..it was so bad tonight when i had to go..and she was asking me not to,holding me close,i was so near to crying.Something in my head was saying to me..you'll see her tomorrow,it's not that far away,but everything else in me was saying:

"YOU DON'T WANT TOMORROW YOU WANT NOW!!!! you want to just stay here,and not have to worry or care about anything else in the world,because you don't,you don't care about anything else,this,she,is all you've ever wanted"

and that part of me was right...andf i wanted so much to go with that part...but of course i didn the sensible thing,and left,feeling ripped apart.

I have a load of stuff to do for tomorrow..but i can't think of anything but her.

Something's got to give..the living arrangements have got to let up soon..i can't go on like this for much longer,it's killing me.

All i want is that fire,and i'd be happy forever.

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