2013-10-22 - 6:42 p.m.
I logged on here randomly to update the other night but then couldn't for whatever reason. And there it was- my buddy list with one update in red: Levi, 1 day ago. So funny how this still happens..
And also there's G.The most amazing wonderful man. I met him in June so not too long after M and I split up, as alluded to in the previous entry, but as soon as I saw him I thought 'yes'- and even in my last entry I already thought he could really be someone. And it turns out he thought the same about me. I honestly didnt think that love at first sight existed but we've been pretty much inseperable ever since.
I don't want to jinx it but I've honestly been the happiest I have been for years and years and I'm just excited about the future. We get on so well, there's hardly a thing we disagree on, we haven't had any cross words with each other but have explored the few areas that we don't hold the same opinions on and have had nice open discussions. There have been no arguments, not even minor annoyances. It has all been amazing. I know it has only been a few months but I think, hope, that you get to a point in life where you know yourself, what you want, what you don't want and how you want to get to wherever it is you're meant to be going. In a really clear way it's like every relationship I've ever had has taught me something that has made me ready for this one.
It's sickening but we can spend the longest time just kissing and looking at each other like total teenagers. The first time we went to the cinema together we barely saw the film and we're in our 30s now for chrissake! He's 36- a proper grown up and massively able to talk about his feelings and hopes and dreams. I've had to relearn how to do that after shutting it all down to cope with M's inability to do so and so he puts me to shame sometimes, but I'm getting back into the swing of it and it feels amazing. He tells me he loves me all the time and we already talk about the future like it's the most natural thing in the world. It honestly feels like we've known each other forever and even so many little things in both of our pasts are so similar that it's scary.
Tonight we're going to Ikea to buy some clever storage bits and pieces, to make room for my things in his flat.It sounds ridiculous I know but we didn't even have to discuss it- he said ' we should talk about something' and I said ' ok' and he said 'ok what?' and I said 'OK'. He replied 'when?' and I said ' January' and that was that decision made, again like it was just the only logical thing to do. Of course January has crept forward and my things have started to make their way to his as that's where we spend most of our time anyway. The other night I was about to take a bag of things back to mine to wash and we just looked at each other as I said ' there's no point, is there?' and he said ' no, not really'.
He's coming to pick me up now.