So tonight a new friend from work invited me out for a drink. Friday night, work drinks, sounds good. I went to see a flat, which in itself was ok but the potential flatmate seemed really nice and chatty and also has a long distance relationship- so instant conversation. Then I went to meet said friend from work.It was lovely, there was a group of people out who i vaguely knew, or knew of. They all went off to do various things with their evening and left me and new friend together. We had a really good talk about all sorts of things and rambled at each over about life and relationships and lost our points several times.

She's the only person that I've actually told her that I used to be in relationships with women. In conversation our latest staff survey came up and they always ask you about orientation and i said that I'd said bi- nothing new there. She said that she had too and started telling me about her past- no proper relationships with women but she finds them attractive and is open to just having relationships with people...women are so much more physically attractive than men etc. And she thinks I'm beautiful and isn't just saying it and starts telling me how great I am.

It's incredibly flattering but i felt like- god- this is pretty much the only real friend I've made since i got here- i really wish she wouldn't ruin it with this.

I know she was amazingly drunk and am really sure, from other conversations, that she is very much straight. I just made her drink lots of water and took her home and made her tea and waited half an hour while she slept it off before waking her to say i was leaving . I know she didn't mean it and is going to be a real mate.

At the same time i thought- if i was single - i probably would have. And it awakened that ' shane' part of me that likes to be told that pretty girls fancy me. I watched an ep of the L word just the other night because i realised that i'd never finished series 6 and I have all this time on my hands now. and i wondered if i'd ever go back.

At the same time the boy, M, had been very soppy in his messages to me today as we'd talked last night about everything in my last entry and how i don't know where this is going etc. As I went to get water tonight for the girl, R, i walked back with a smile in my head thinking that I love him and there was no way anything would happen with the girl because of that.

As i left her, telling her I'd text her when i got home, even though there was no way she would know because she'd be fast asleep, she told me how great i am and that she loved me (really loved me - apparently- and drunkenly) and that i should stay here and not go back to Glasgow. We hugged and she kissed me on the mouth. I didn't feel anything other than ' aw - here is my drunk friend'. And that felt good.

I may have had a bottle of wine and some gin but I can still appreciate that it's funny how the world works. Just when you're wondering if something is worth it the most random thing happens and gives you the answer.