Well,life has been busily empty recently,with lots of stuff to do that hasn't really gotten done, but because you've always been thinking about doing it, you feel like you've done it already...until you realise that you haven't.hmmmm, wouldn't it be much more simple just to do the stuff? Yeah probably, but then i'd have nothing to write about.

So life after the big red fiasco has become much more livable.No more postering until 2 in the morning, no more saying the word red a million times a day and no more begging people to give you their email adresses and mobile numbers and having them look at you strangely as if it could all be some evil ploy to have them rounded up, split into teams and set on a course to the centre of the earth to see which team's heads will explode first from the pressure. Which in fact could have been Virgin's original idea for their competition as it does sound vaguely familiar..just without all the posters...or the house at the end.

Hmmmm. So anyway..what have i been up to all this time? Well the last week of uni was a hectic but much enjoyed one which is strange because that's deadline week for lots of things. So i wrote a long rambling essay for English about religion and stuff which led to me discovering the fact that Satan and his being chucked out of heaven doesn't really get mentioned anywhere in the whole Bible thing. It was just kinda made up by some folks so that they could apply it to the whole Israel/ Palestine/chosen people thing a couple of thousand years ago. Just incase you ever wanted to know that.

Then i finished my first ever film.It's only about 6 and a half minutes long, and there are things about it that i don't much like, but hey..i finished a film :) It was a group thing for my course and it had to be on the subject of racism, so since just after Christmas we've been out and about framing and filming and learning all this camera and setting and lighting stuff.Then they basically let us loose with thousands of pounds worth of equipment so that we could make a film. It all ended up being a massive editing project and we spent endless days infront of the avid suite, but boy was it a good feeling when we got it all done and dusted.

So we went out for a drink or 2..at about 1pm...and then we didn't stop drinking until 6, when i went to dinner with Levi and her friends who were celebrating handing in something for their course...and then we went out to a couple of bars and then we went to a club. So i think i was probably drinking for about 12 hours or so, with a couple of breaks in between.I think i just about managed to always keep myself at the happy drunk but not drunk drunk stage.Which was good.

It was also a big difference from the Saturday night when i dragged Levi along to a fellow film group member's 21st birthday house party at 1 in the morning. Where after only drinking about 4 or 5 glasses of wine i found myself being sick and falling asleep in the hostesses bathroom for maybe an hour or so. And then having to be mostly carried home by Levi which apparently took an innordinate amount of time with me stopping every few steps to tell her that i couldn't walk any further and that i'd just stay there, on the street. I did many other things that night also, but they are much too embarassing to even think about so i'm in the processes of repressing them so that they can come back and haunt me one day when i'm rich and famous and either someone sells them to a newspaper of I move to America and get myself a therapist.

I honestly do not understand how that happened ..my only explanation is that the last glass of wine was red and i don't usually drink red wine. There also seems to be a thing that runs in our family, well in my mum and big sis anyway,where red wine caused them to be really sick, or really drunk if they weren't eating along with it,from around the age of 19 to about 24..so i'm thinking i'll be avoiding the red stuff in the future. I blame it all on the tannins.

Then Levi broke her toe.She's finding it really hard because she's so active usually. The thing is that it's making her sleeping patterns even worse. She hasn't been able to sleep properly since we came back from Canada, she can't sleep at night and then she ends up sleeping for most of the day. I've been going round to her house every day since she broke her toe, usually at around 1.It used to be that when i went round to her house i'd wake her up, we'd cuddle for a wee while, maybe mess around for a bit and then get up and have lunch and do something..maybe go out or study,or mess around a bit more.... but now it's like pulling teeth. Yesterday was breaking point. I went round at 12, i was going to go earlier but i'd gotten an text from her at about 3.30 am saying that she still wasn't aslleep so i thought i'd give her a bit longer in bed.

So i went round at 12...i had the day all planned, i was all geared up for going to the gym and Levi had said that she wanted to come too, to keep in shape and everything while she has this broken toe, do some weights or whatever.So i went round and woke her up and she crawled back into bed and fell asleep again.I went to join her for a cuddle and that was it,she was comatose.She had a meeting at 2 to meet an advisor about a uni project,i kept telling her the time every 5 minutes, telling her to wake up.She would just look at me and say,uh huh, and go back to sleep. She slept right thorugh the meeting, even with me there telling her to get up.When she finally did get up I was a bit mad with her. She'd slept thorugh the meeting, which was pretty important and she had also ruined my plans for the day.It was 3pm and I had to leave for work at 5.It didn't give me enough time to go to the gym properly or get any studying done.I went to the gym for a rushed half hour while she went to her re-scheduled meeting. Then i met up with her again to come home.I was late,our day together was gone and i felt like i hadn't even seen her because even when she does wake up it's like she's not really there. I've tried being nice about it, tellling her to get herself to bed earlier, calling her every day to wake her up,going round to her house every day, but now that doesn't even work anymore.Now this whole thing with the toe aswell.I've been on crutches before, yeah you can't do as much stuff as you used to but it's not like you're completley disabled, it shouldn't stop you from ever going out of the house or getting out of bed, and it's like she's using it as an excuse. So i told her so. I was pretty mad,and it can't go on like that.

I came home and was rushing about getting ready for work when the doorbell rang. I answered the door and there was Levi standing with a bouquet of gorgeous pink roses.Saying sorry.

Am i being to harsh on her?I mean is sleeping really that bad..but then if thats all she does....?

I dunno.

Yeah so that brings us up to last night...

I'm sorry for shouting at you honey,i just don't want to lose you to your bed. I love spending time in bed with you, but it would be nice if we were both awake more of the time..don't you think?

But anyway, the roses were lovely, thats the first time anyone apart from my dad has ever bought me flowers.

:)

yay