sitting here listening to Melissa etheridge..angels would fall..i really like it,i don't have the whole song downloaded,but i have most of it...i'm listening to it on repeat.

Things have been very up and down lately...i can't remember the order that things have happened in,but still.I don't know what's going on.hmm

Wednesday night me an levi went out for a about an hour with the boy and the son..it was good,levi had just got a job :)...my mum had seen us in the street together that day and gone mental..i said we'd just bumped into each other which is perfectly possible..we were just walking,we live so close,it's not like it doesn't happen..nothing else,she went crazy.I felt really bad about lying to her,again,but she did over react,completley.

We went back to levi's to watch ER and big brother on tape..t'was good.

Yesterday i met up with a friend from school,we've been friends for ages,she's a year older,we used to go to orchestra together aswell..we meet up every now and then usually so she can moan about her love life..that was ok obviously until i started going out with levi cos i couldn't discuss my side anymore,i think she's known something was up for a while now..but it didn't stop us talking..i'd give her advice which would usually work..even though i don't have any experience compared to her...

so anyway,i decided that yesterday,when she asked the "so how about your lovelife question? i'd just tell her.

So..the first time she asked we were in a busy coffee house..it didn't feel right so i avoided the question..next time we were on our own..walking near the uni..she asked...so i started with the 'especially don't tell your parents this' thing (cos they know my parents who would kill me for coming out to someone)..and so she was saying so who is he?have i met him..i was saying,yeah you've met them and things and then just said..right the thing is...it's a girl.

silence (thought going through my head:shit you shouldn't have told her)

then ...a girl?oh...right a girl.

so how long has that been?...

a year and 2 months now.

then she was kinda cool about it...saying she couldn't believe i hadn't told her and how did my parents take it and things..after the initial questions...it was akward...but when she left she hugged me..told me to call her soon.so it went quite well i s'pose.

Today i found out i got an A for French and an A for English.I'm really happy with that. yay me.

I also had an argument with levi..another one.

If you've read her you probably think i was completley unreasonable today.But that's not the whole story...my short version of it is that she wanted me to go into town with her today..i ended up having to work and texted her to say i might be back at 3.

I got back at 3 and 1 rang her phone to let her know i was back..she texted me saying to call her...for the next 15 minutes i tried to call only to find that she went in the shower..after telling me to call her...she did something similar last night..texted me for ages so i'd come online..i got online and told her i couldn't go out but i could talk and the she dissapeared... she was watching tv..she didn't even say where she was going so i sat there typing to her waiting for her to come back,getting mad.

It's the same when we're going out..i'll go up to her house to get her first...and yeah i love having 15 minutes ..half an hour of her to myself..but sometimes we've arranged to meet people and then don't get there for another 2 hours cos she isn't changed,hasn't decided what she's wearing..is still in bed..slept in....forgot to get up.Or i'll tell her to call me at a certain time and she'll sleep past it...so then i'll call her and she's still in bed...

so today i got mad about it,cos when i got back at 3 after saying that's probably when i'd be back,she wasn't even changed yet and hadn't showered etc...so that's less time i get to spend with her.

And i know from being friedns with her before that that is exactly what she did to her ex,cos she couldn't be bothered meeting him and wanted him to know that.So i told her that's how i felt.she told me i was stupid..which i half know...but still.it just upsets me.

She said i was high maintenance.she never used to say that...it made me sad..but things are getting harder instead of easier right now...what we're doing isn't easy,i know that,i've always known it wouldn't be,and i know it's not easy for her waiting until i can go out... but i hope it starts getting easier soon.