i just came home from work...came online and started talking to Levi..she told me that one of my good friends from school/uni's ex boyfriend commited suicide on Friday.

I can't believe it.I didn't know the guy very well at all..i know they went out for a while then they agreed not to go out anymore but they stayed really good friends.

He was at Levi's at the new years party.

He was out at a club with us just a couple of weeks ago. He was dancing, laughing, smiling. He seemed like a really happy kinda guy.

When we were out on Friday night drinking, dancing, having a good time she was finding out that he was gone.

I can't even begin to attempt to write about this in a way that would mean anything....i didn't know him...

I don't know what to think.

i dont feel like i should be able to get really upset by it all..and that's not meant in an insensitive way...crying about it just doesn't feel right but what else do you do when you find out something like that?..and to say that it should teach us all a lesson about love and friendship and everything would be so wrong.People aren't made to go through that kind of thing so that everyone else can learn something from it..god...it just shouldn't happen.

I don't think there's anything that i could say right now that wouldn't just sound really stupid and meaningless.

but he's gone and all i can say is that he shouldn't be.

He really shouldn't be gone.